to eleven

The To Eleven (South) Holiday Guide by jason

Here at To Eleven South, my girlfriend, I, and J.A.Y.N.O.V.A. MK II(To Eleven’s Sassy Supercomputer) are celebrating the Holiday season. By this, I of course mean we’re having a month long drunk and setting shit on fire because, well, if you’re going to do a thing, you might as well do it crunk.

So here’s the To Eleven South Holiday Guide, with suggestions on how to make your Holiday season as awesome as ours.

Holiday movie: Die Hard. Of course.

Holiday Albums:
A Very Balthrop Christmas
Balthrop, Alabama-A Very Balthrop Christmas.

You can have a listen to it (and, if I’m reading correctly, download it for free? Is that right?) at THE LABEL’S WEBSITE. Lots of great songs, and though one song casually references a rather extreme sex act, it’s between two ladies, so it’s still fun for the whole family.

Peanuts Christmas-Vince Guaraldi Trio
Vince Guaraldi Trio-A Peanuts Christmas.

Christmas in the Stars
Christmas in the Stars

OK. I’ll admit that this one is only even marginally listenable if you are completely trashed, but as the party don’t stop here at To Eleven South, this one’s always on. Also, this album features Jon Bon Jovi before he got famous, died, and came back to life.

NOTE: If I had ANY artistic ability, this space would have a pic of Jon Bon Jovi floating above a cave with the words “He Is Risen” above him.

To Eleven Holiday Cookie Recipe:
Buy some cookies at the store
Soak them in mash liquor until they completely fall apart
Set it all on fire
What are we doing again?

To Eleven Cookies II:
To Eleven Cookies
I made these.

Favorite Holiday Song (not on one of the aforementioned albums.):

Pomplamoose- “Jingle Bells”
Pomplamoose- “Deck the Halls”
Jessica Frech- “I’m Glad I Bought a Hyundai”
Really any Hyundai commercial.*

*I mean, come on! Jeff Bridges does the voice over, except for the end bit that tells you to go to a Hyundai dealer. That’s voiced by the guy who played Flint on G.I.Joe!

And that should get you started with your Holiday celebration. And if your December holiday already came and went, well, I guess you’ll have to take a Mulligan so you can redo it the To Eleven way.

Happy Holiday’s folks! See you when the Holiday hangover passes!



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