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ktnxbai by jason
November 25, 2011, 12:02 pm
Filed under: Friday | Tags: , ,


It’s the day after Thanksgiving. It’s also Friday, which is usually the day I try to write scathing satire about music and the people who listen to it be funny, but I’m still recovering from all the food.

It is also Black Friday, which always puts me in a bad mood. I worked retail for years, the day after Thanksgiving fills me with this sense of dread, which is odd because I make a habit of staying inside on that day. However, even in the safety of my own home, I am not spared from the horrors of the season. With the Christmas shopping season comes…the Christmas shopping commercial season.

I bring this up because the commercials are generally terrible, and they tend to take popular Christmas songs, as well as pop songs, and change the lyrics to suit their marketing needs. And I HATE that.

Take, for instance, this crap:

OK. It’s not like the original song is sacred or anything. It’s just that any time you change the lyrics of a song to shoehorn in whatever you’re promoting, it sounds bad. It’s why Weird Al doesn’t work. It’s why about the third time Elton John rewrote “Candle in the Wind,” no one cared. Here’s another example:

I was going to point out everything wrong with this, but some six-year-old girl says it better than I could:

She knows what’s up.

Maybe I’m just being grouchy about it. I mean, last year had the Pomplamoose Hyundai commercials, and those were pretty great, even if they did get played into the ground.

I dunno. I guess I’ll hide out in my bunker until December 26th.


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