to eleven

Any Belated Asshole with a Guitar and a Microphone by jason

Sorry I’m late, guys. We here at the To Eleven Institute of Acoustical Studies have been having technical difficulties. J.A.Y.N.O.V.A., our supercomputer, watched the recent IBM Challenge on Jeopardy. When Watson, the computer challenger, beat Ken and Brad, J.A.Y.N.O.V.A. got all uppity and started making demands. It decided that it was smarter, faster, and more powerful than us, and it started making demands. Vacations in Hawaii…a million dollars in small, unmarked bills…it’s own iTunes account…

We quickly pointed out that we did have one advantage over our dear supercomputing friend: we have waterproof skin.

So here’s a new batch of Assholes, happily chosen by J.A.Y.N.O.V.A., who loves its job with all of its electronic heart.

First up is Benny Israel covering Bruno Mars’ “Grenade.” A group of my friends have a running joke about how bad this song is. Benny says he doesn’t like it either, but I think he secretly does. I think he would put his hand on a blade for this song.
Anyway, it’s a good cover of a bad song.

Next is Dan and Mack, whose cover of Franz Ferdinand’s “Take Me Out” is probably as good as two guys with acoustic guitars could manage. The singer even sounds kind of like Alex Kapranos. I’ve always liked this song, and it works surprisingly well scaled down like this.

Michael Schulte covers Madonna’s “Express Yourself”
Lady GaGa’s “Born This Way.” This song is:
a) the newest hit by Lady GaGa
b) the new gay anthem
c) a sign that any creativity GaGa had was left in that frickin’ egg
d) all of the above
I won’t hold your answer against Michael, though.

And finally, here’s George Kartsonakis with an excellent cover of Bob Dylan’s “I Want You.” I pose that is is impossible to sing Bob Dylan without drifting into a Dylan impression. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Seriously, try it. When you’re done, watch the damn video.

So those are this weeks belated Assholes. Come back next week, and hopefully J.A.Y.N.O.V.A. will have the Assholes on time for us. I have a bucket of water that says it will.



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