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Any Asshole with a Valentine by jason

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, or The Hallmark Holiday, or Singles Awareness Day, or whatever you call it in your neck of the internet. Whether you think of the day is the most romantic day of the year, or it makes you want to aout-erotically asphyxiate yourself to death, there are some good songs that you can use to serenade your loved one, or to try to woo someone into your bedroom life.

This first one is Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl,” as played by James Dupre. I’m putting this one here because:
1) It’s a good cover, and
2) My girlfriend has brown eyes.
Never mind that this is actually a “hey, the relationship ended a long time ago and I still miss you” song. Just ignore the last verse, and it’s all OK.

According to literally the first website that came up when I searched for most requested valentines day songs , Gwen Stefani’s “Sweet Escape” is the most requested song. Here is A TOTALLY UNIRONIC AND COMPLETELY SINCERE cover of that song by Cornelius Fetherbottom, who is IN NO WAY A BEARDED HIPSTER.
(It’s actually a pretty cool cover.)

Here’s Pamela G. covering Eamon’s famous NSFW song. I’m posting this because:
1) It’s a charming cover of a great “this relationship is over and I don’t miss you” song, and some of you are there this Valentine’s day, and
2) I have a thing for Asian girls.
I’m a pig. I know.

And finally, because I had two songs about break ups, here’s YouTube user asagentlemanwouldsay covering The Mountain Goats’ song of realizing you want to stay together after all, “There Will Be No Divorce,” one of my favorite songs that I, someday, will have a video of myself doing, I SWEAR.

So happy Valentine’s Day. Come back next week for more Assholes!

-jason

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