to eleven


On tour. by Jayson
November 11, 2010, 1:47 pm
Filed under: Tours

Let’s get the caveats out of the way. A lot of music writers I like write these. A lot of bands that I like write these. I don’t like you personally any less. I know I spend 80% of my time writing reviews and some people find those horrible, uninteresting and tedious. I understand that if this isn’t a hobby there is a need for Daily Updates. That being said…

When did the metal blogging world collectively decide tour diaries were interesting? It was sometime in the last couple of months right?

Every tour diary ever:

Day 23, Truth or Consequences, NM

Drove all day to get here. We get here. We are all very tired. The venue did/did not promote the tour heavily and we’re playing to no/a lot of people. We have feelings about it. Tomorrow we will have to get up and drive all day to get to the next place. The show is played. The band(s) we play with are good friends of ours/awesome and/or some band that plays [unacceptable genre] and “fuckin’ suck.” Drugs and/or alcohol are consumed. Human drama occurs.

Day 30, Megadeth, AZ

The van broke down. It is not metal to be a Triple A member. Sundry predictable events transpire as the van is repaired/replaced/arrangements to get the gear to the show. The venue did/did not promote the tour heavily and we’re playing to no/a lot of people. We have feelings about it. Tomorrow we will have to get up and drive all day to get to the next place. The show is played. The band(s) we play with are good friends of ours/awesome and/or some band that plays [unacceptable genre] and “fuckin’ suck.”  Drugs and/or alcohol are consumed. Human drama occurs.

Day 42, Aluminum Siding, NE

We all smell. We are malnourished. Drove all day to get here. We are all very tired. The venue did/did not promote the tour heavily and we’re playing to no/a lot of people. We have feelings about it. Tomorrow we will have to get up and drive all day to get to the next place. Drugs and/or alcohol are consumed. The show is played. The band(s) we play with are good friends of ours/awesome and/or some band that plays [unacceptable genre] and “fuckin’ suck.” Drugs and/or alcohol are consumed. Human drama occurs.

Day 48, Cleveland, OH

We all smell. We are malnourished. Drove all day to get here. We are all very tired. Day off.  We go see something/do something/meet people we know/meet people we don’t know. They are cool/suck. Drugs and/or alcohol are consumed. Human drama occurs.

Day 523, Major City, US America

We all smell. We are malnourished. Drove all day to get here. We are all very tired. It is cool to be in Major City, USA. We go do the thing(s) we like to do and/or see here. The venue did/did not promote the tour heavily and we’re playing to no/a lot of people. We have feelings about it. Tomorrow we will have to get up and drive all day to get to the next place. The show is played. The band(s) we play with are good friends of ours/ awesome and/or some band that plays [unacceptable genre] and “fuckin’ suck.” Drugs and/or alcohol are consumed. Human drama occurs.

Bonus points are awarded for all the gear being stolen.

– Jayson

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