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An Open Letter to the Girl at the Music Store by jason

Dear Music Store Girl,

Um…hi.

You look nice.

No, no, no…let me start again.

Um…so, I noticed that you put Pulp’s Different Class on the stereo. I like Pulp. A lot. Jarvis Cocker is the man, but I think that This Is Hardcore is a better album, but then again, I like concept albums, and I’m not as big a fan of dance music, not that Different Class is dance music, per se…

Oops. I’m rambling. Sorry. I do that. I have ADHD.

Why did I tell you that?!?

Wait…don’t walk away. I’m not hitting on you. I know better. There are rules. Rule #8 is “Don’t hit on the music store girl.” Everyone knows that. It’s right up there with #10, “Don’t hit on the hot chick who’s shopping at the comic book store.” You just don’t do it. Not unless you want to humiliate yourself. And I do not want to humiliate myself.

Hey, wanna hear something funny? Last time I was in here, I almost, almost bought a Lady GaGa CD, but I saw that you were at the counter with your little hipster glasses and your bangs, and I couldn’t do it.

I just humiliated myself, didn’t I?

OK, OK…I’ll get my music and go. Anything you’d recommend?

What do I like? Oh! Lot’s of things! Like, the Mountain Goats! And…um…

No, let me think…

Um…David Bowie? I’m sorry. You caught me off guard, that’s all. I mean, I write for this music blog, and I talk about music all the time. In fact, you might like it! It’s called…

You don’t read blogs? Oh.

Well…I’ve embarrassed myself enough here. I’ll get going, and leave you…

The Microphones! That’s a band I like! And Neutral Milk Hotel! And the National! Yeah!

Huh? Oh, you have to go on lunch? That’s cool. Hey, would you like to…

No? Ah. Rule #8. Sorry. OK. Bye.

-jason

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1 Comment so far
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Thanks Jason, your awkwardness made me feel better.

Comment by Beth




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