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Grammys postmortem by Jayson
January 31, 2010, 11:26 pm
Filed under: Awards, Credibility, Failure | Tags:

So yeah, I watched. I cashed in pretty early on Twitter, but I ended up leaving it on in the background. It was good though, watching this year reminds me why I never watch this.

I don’t care about almost any of these bands and artists. I don’t write that for any kind of stab and any indie anything. It’s just like… well let me say this, the Grammys explain a lot. I keep reading about declining music sales. Watching the Grammys explains it, none of this is engaging at all. It just seems like the last fifteen years have been totally incapable of producing another James Brown or Michael Jackson or Bon Jovi. The top 40 musicians of the late 20th and early 21st centuries have almost no legs. Lady Gaga is just doing what Madonna did in the day. Will she last as long? If I had to guess… And look at the rest of it. The Black Eyed Peas. We’re not really supposed to take them seriously right? Green Day? After abruptly discovering political consciousness they’re the goddamn U2 of their generation. I don’t mean that in a good way.

What made it an even bigger bummer was that they keep bringing up the old days when there was a lot of popular music that mattered. Like, before the country music award they name dropped Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn and Allison Krauss; and the award goes to Taylor Swift, who promptly thanked her label for letting her write her own songs. That’s what we’re dealing with. It’s all like that.

Some observations:

Elton John? C’mon dude you ain’t need to do this.

Screw the iPad, unless you’re sending me one for free.

Is that the dude from that Michael Mann movie with Tom Cruise? I thought actor vanity albums went out in the 80s.

The Kings of Leon, wasn’t Buddyhead making fun of them 8 years ago?

Haha, Alice Cooper should have worn his golf duds. That would have been rad.

Ke$ha looks she really would rather be anywhere else.

Jesus Christos! Fleetwood Mac covers! This is what I was talking about. Total failure of contemporary relevance. Also, they sound terrible. She’s just a steel town girl… wait… nevermind.

Oh fuck this. Michael Jackson loves trees, in 3D. Fuck Usher. I just wanna hear Smokey Robinson.

HOLY SHIT! MICHAEL JACKSON’S KIDS! Ok, I freaked out there.

He’s seen a million faces and he’s rocked them all.

It goes downhill really fast…

Oh noez! They’re stealing the music! Home taping is killing the record industry. Even as a dude that pays for his music, this guy lecturing us makes me want to steal a Rhianna album.

Few dudes bum me out as much as Dave Matthews.

This was really terrible. The lifetime achievement awards really underscore how far popular music has fallen. Total failure of relevance with anyone who won outside that category. This Grammys were a combination mutual admiration society for established celebrities, token lifetime achievement awards which were clearly not as important as Taylor Swift’s surprised at winning act; et all, and showcase of tomorrow’s VH1 Top One Hit Wonders of the Aughts Countdown.

-Jayson

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